Monday, February 10, 2014

Do You Apologize Too Much?

People sometimes interpret speech habits like saying

Most of us say things like “um,” “you know” and “like” as meaningless conversational filler, but in a recent essay, one woman writes in The Times about realizing how often she said “sorry” — and how she broke the habit.

Do you apologize constantly without noticing you’re doing it? Do you know others with this habit?

In the article “How to Suppress the Apology Reflex,” Audrey S. Lee writes:

I would often start and end my conversations with the word “sorry” — sorry for bothering you, sorry for the bad news, sorry this issue came up, sorry for asking questions.

As the youngest girl in the family, I felt that I didn’t have as much to offer as my elders, and that what I had to say wasn’t worth a whole lot. Blame and shame usually trickled down the hierarchy in my family, and usually landed at my feet. A broken vase? Spilled milk? Mistakes? All eyes were on me. So from early on, I started apologizing first, just to get it out of the way. I found that it often mitigated heated situations.

But that approach didn’t work as well when I entered the workplace, especially in my job at a high-tech company where I had to interact with many teams and senior managers. I remember skulking around corners on the way to my boss’s door and then knocking sheepishly:

“Very sorry to interrupt you. Can I ask a question about this project? Sorry.”

“Sure come in. No need to apologize.”

“O.K. Sorry.”

I heard similar reassurances from a product manager, who told me that I should stand up for myself and stop apologizing. And, finally, I heard this exclamation from an executive: “Stop saying ‘sorry’! You don’t need to unless you really did do something wrong, O.K.? The team and customers will think that you aren’t confident when you always apologize!”

Change didn’t happen right away. It took a long time to internalize their message. Much of one’s worth is equated to compensation and promotions in the workplace. And for years, bringing up these topics and taking credit for my own work were still uncomfortable and even embarrassing.

…As I examined my background and core values, I discovered that having a perpetually apologetic stance didn’t necessarily represent true humility. I found that I could offer an honest self-portrait without being arrogant, so others would see how I could make a difference. This was a style of confidence that felt congruent and authentic to me. The process of self-examination gave me a framework that has allowed me to go outside my comfort zone and to work in an increasingly diverse workplace.

Now You Go: Read the entire article, then tell us …

Have you ever been in the situation Ms. Lee describes, either as the speaker or listener?
Why do you think some people fall into the habit of constantly saying they are sorry?
What are the drawbacks to this habit? Can you think of good things about it?
What are your own bad speech habits? Have you ever broken yourself of one? How?
What do you think speech habits like this say about us? Why?
How do you know when an apology is truly in order?

117 comments:

AnonymousFebruary 12, 2014 at 9:26 AM
Jazmyne Palacios
Ms.Wright.
P:4

I can’t say I’ve been in the position where I was in the exact positions as Ms.Lee, but I have similar experience where I non-stop apologizing for the smallest things. I experience it more as a speaker (meaning myself), than from hearing it from someone else. I have the constant need to apologize for coughing, sneezing, and even if I feel that I’m speaking too much. I always feel as if I’m annoying people, so I always apologize to them. From my perspective I think people fall in the habit of saying “sorry” too much, because they probably think in their head that they’re making a mistake, being annoying, or probably acting dumb. Another reason can be that people don’t want to think that they’re self-centered or arrogant, so an apology every time can help show the person who they are. On the other hand another reason can be the past of persons, they probably made multiple mistakes in the past (probably bigger ones), and now these people feel the need to apology every time they do something that my agitate people.

A couple of drawbacks of falling into this habit can be that people actually get actually irritated by the constant apologies. Like how Amy Lee states in her story of her constant apologizing,
“Stop saying ‘sorry’! You don’t need to unless you really did do something wrong, O.K.? The team and customers will think that you aren’t confident when you always apologize!” I think this then concludes confidence might be the real issue, not feeling confident enough to say or do something without saying an apology in the end. Furthermore, it’s really actually complex to find good things about this, but the only thing I have in my mind is people (possibly) thinking you’re a humble person and you aren’t rude. I mean if you didn’t apologize for a lot of things people would hint that you are that person that never apologizes or in refusal. Saying “sorry” a couple times may result in the positivity in a person as well.

My own bad speech habits happen to be making everything completely silent and I lose train of thought of what I have to say next. Another bad speech habit happens to be, too as well, like Ms. lee constantly apologizing when I have to speak. I have only broken one of these bad speech habits. I stopped making my speeches or presentations so dull and awkward. I tried to entertain the audience and not have an awkward silence where I’m smiling dumbly at the crowd for help on what to say next. Besides that, my other speech habit I have not yet broke yet. I normally sat sorry a lot more when talking to my friends than presenting a project or anything.

I think speech habits really show the type of person you are. If you can entertain a crowd or bore a crowd. If you talk constantly and never pause, then that may show you’re a talkative person. Lets say you do talk, but not so talkative you speak pause, there’s silence, and then you speak again. That may show a sign of shyness or maybe nervousness. I also think speech habits do define that type of person we are. Like I said in the beginning of this paragraph you can entertain a crowd or make your crowd fall asleep literally. It all varies.

How I know when an apology is truly in order is when a person really means that they’re sorry. Also, if they’re apology for a mistake and not a mistake they think they have made. But when you know the person actually knows they’re saying sorry and bluffing it off.
Furthermore, people who have the constant need to say sorry all time is actually fine. There’s absolutely nothing terrible with apologizing truly in order, we all.
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AnonymousFebruary 12, 2014 at 11:10 AM
Written by: Alicia Rodriguez
Period 5

Apologizing is something that I’m always doing. I can’t say that the situations I’m usually in are EXACTLY like that, but I have been in the situation where I non-stop apologize, then somebody yells at me for apologizing, and then I”ll apologize for apologizing. I’ve actually been in both positions, but I’m mostly the speaker, the one saying sorry. I say sorry simply because I feel as if I am agitating somebody. I dislike being irritated, so when I feel like I’m irritating somebody, I immediately apologize because I don’t want them to not like me. I usually say sorry for even the smallest things, for instance, coughing in the middle of class. I apologize because I feel as if I have disturbed everyone. It’s just a habit, but it’s also because when I was younger I would do rude things and not apologize for it simply because I didn’t think it was bad. Now that I’m older, I am constantly reminding myself to apologize. Anything can irritate somebody, so that means I’m always apologizing. Some people fall into the habit of constantly saying that they are sorry because they truly just feel like an annoyance to the person they are speaking to or to the group of people they feel as if they are disrupting. Another reason why some people constantly fall into the habit of saying sorry is because they don’t want to seem as if they are too self-centered. They don’t want to give the wrong impression of themselves.

The drawbacks of constantly apologizing would be the annoyance that people feel when the person keeps saying sorry, for example, in Ms. Lee’s story. Her constant apologizing made the person she was saying sorry to get upset. Although apologizing is meant to make people feel better, in some overused cases, it makes people feel worse. ““Stop saying ‘sorry’! You don’t need to unless you really did do something wrong, O.K.? The team and customers will think that you aren’t confident when you always apologize!” In spite of feeling bad for what they did, some people simply over apologize because they aren’t confident enough to say what they feel and not have to explain themselves. Saying “no” and not having to explain yourself is something that these people have a hard time doing. They don’t want to come off as rude. Furthermore, the drawbacks of saying sorry too much would be the annoyance you cause people to feel, as well as the negative feelings you make yourself feel.

One of my bad speech habits used to be stuttering. I would stutter so much that I wouldn’t be able to complete a full sentence without having to repeat a word about 4 times. Breaking out of the habit is extremely hard and frustrating. When you’re stuttering, you feel trapped. You want to stop talking and in your brain you are saying, “Stop!”, but your mouth keeps going. It took me many years to get where I am now. I can now actually compose a full sentence without stuttering. The trick to it is not thinking about what you’re saying. When I say that, I mean the words and how strange they sound. I’m not completely free of this habit, but I am closer to breaking it than I used to be. As I have said before, apologizing a lot would be another one of my bad speech habits. Speech habits like stuttering and apologizing say a lot about a person. They say how shy the person is to open up and share their ideas. It shows how unconfident a person is.

I know when an apology is truly in order when the thing the person did actually hurt you. If I feel extremely hurt, then I know that what I want is an apology. You know when an apology is sincere when the person truly opens up about how they feel. Furthermore, apologizing too much is a bad habit, but it can be broken if you just work really hard at it. Saying sorry isn’t bad, over saying it is.

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AnonymousFebruary 12, 2014 at 6:48 PM
Isabel Martinez
Ms.Wright
Honors English A5/B5
12 February 2014

To being with, I don’t believe I am in the position like Ms.Lee as a listener of apologizing. As a speaker I think I sometimes do apologize for the smallest things. For example, if I asked someone a question, I apologize and say nevermind because I feel like I am wasting their time or they might not be paying attention to what I am saying. I think people fall into the habit of constantly saying sorry because they probably feel like they are annoying the person; however, I don’t think the person would be annoyed. A person might feel like they are talking too much so they just stay quiet and don’t say anything. Also another thing that could have possibly started this habit is if as a child you were always told to say sorry. As you grew up you said sorry for everything you did.

The drawbacks of this habit might be that people might actually get annoyed because you constantly are saying “sorry”. Just like Ms.Lee’s boss stated, “The team and customers will think that you aren’t confident when you always apologize!”. That is another drawback of this habit. Nevertheless, it can be good to say sorry, but only for big things that happen. For instance, if you forgot to do something for someone, that is something to say sorry for. Saying sorry is for more bigger situations. Another example is, if you forgot you had to meet up with someone. That is something you should apologize for because you caused the other person time to go to the place and you didn’t end up going.

I have many bad speech habits because I get very nervous. The word/phrase that I say a lot are “um” and “eeee” when I am talking. I do this because sometimes I don’t know what to say so I get shy and very nervous. I haven’t been able to break these habits. I don’t think I will be able to stop this habit. I do this because I feel like I’m going to end up sounding weird or not make sense in what I am saying. I am trying to see what I can do so that I can stop this habit.

I think my speech habits say that I am not confident in myself. Since I get nervous, it shows that I don’t have confidence in what I am going to say. This is probably the only thing it says. For the apologizing habit, on the other hand, it says that you assume that you are doing something bad. In reality you’re not, but you think you are so that’s why people always say sorry for things even if it’s not a big deal. People should just think about the situation first and see whether it’s a good reason to apologize. It will help you not say sorry as much.

I know when an apologize is truly in order when it is only for bigger situations. An example of a big situation would be if you forgot it was your best friend’s birthday. You can say it for smaller things if you want, but don’t overdo it. If you overdo it, then you are constantly going to say it for everything and that is how your habit is going to build. In conclusion, it is best to just see what the case is and then you will know if it is necessary to apologize for doing something.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 11:37 AM
Isabella Velazquez
Ms. Wright P:5

I have been in Ms. Lee position many times before mostly at school I would say. The reason why I say this is because at my old school that use to be my line “oh im sorry” because for any little thing I would do I would apologize for it. If a teacher asked me a question and I answered it incorrectly I would say sorry. If I dropped your pencil, bumped into you, or tripped over you I would say sorry. It was a very common thing for me to say. People use to ask me why I apologized so much and I never knew what to say because I did not even know. It grew to be a habit and it wasn’t always so good. It stopped when I started high school because I think that because I didn’t know anybody it made me nervous to say sorry. I grew out of the constant habit but I do still say it when I need to.

The reason why I think people fall into the habit of saying sorry all the time is because that was just something they were influenced to say. According to Audrey S. Lee who wrote “How to Suppress the Apology Reflex” she says that “ as the youngest of my family, I felt that I didn’t have as much to offer as my elders, and what I had to say wasn't worth a whole lot.” she then goes on saying how she came into the habit of always apologizing because of this. I could not agree more with what she said because personally when I was younger I felt the exact same way. IT was not because I was the youngest though it was because I was the nice sweet girl of the family so I was always an easy target. I do think in all it depends on a person's background ,and I think it could also be based on their childhood.

I do think there are many drawbacks to constantly saying sorry one of them being people will think you are sort of a kiss up. As a result, they will start picking on you and think you are an easy target to make fun of. Now that can never be good because then when you get older they will think it is ok as well and it is not. It is also very bad when you come to grow older and encounter not such nice people. They will take advantage of you by making you feel bad all the time when you never did anything wrong. That is when it becomes a problem. One good thing about it is that you learn to become respectful and a great listener.

One of my bad speech habit I have is I like to talk more than I like to listen. This has been and still is a very big problem I feel that after I talk I have nothing more to say or listen I feel there is no point. This is very bad because people will eventually think that you are self centered or just never like to listen to what others have to say. However, this might not always be the case. Maybe you love to listen but you always have a tendency to talk because you can relate to it.

I think if you have good speech habits or bad speech habits it sort of shows how you will be in the future with customers or your co- workers. It is sort of an overview of how you will be as far as speech wise. I feel the way you know an apology is truly in order is by the tone of a persons voice and if they actually apologized for something you know they did wrong. It really all depends on how you approach the apology or how you respond to it.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 5:14 PM
Efrain Santacruz Period 5

I strongly agree with what you say about why it's a habit. As a younger child, I constantly said sorry as well to take off the salty feeling off my conscience and sometimes it just slipped out. The influence came from my family. Saying sorry for a little thing just seemed to be the groove until I got older. I realized "sorry" is a word for when you do something bad; things aren't always your fault. Thats why now in present day, I'am more careful on what to apologize on.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 5:41 PM
Carlos Laureano
Ms.Wright
P4

I don’t recall ever being in a situation where I apologized to much. I think I over apologize every day without realizing it. The problem is I never notice because it’s for small things. For example, if I bump into someone in school I apologize, even if it wasn’t my fault. If I ask someone a question I sometimes apologize for not doing anything. The reason I think I say this is because I don’t want to give off the impression that I’m bothering someone, so I apologize without doing anything wrong.

If someone falls into the habit of saying sorry it’s probably because they feel like the agitate or annoy anyone they talk to. Also someone could use the word sorry as a conversation starter as referenced in the article. If someone is shy sorry could be the word to break the ice with someone else. This is probably because of a low confidence level, they have nothing better to come up so they use sorry to say something instead of staying quiet.

The drawbacks of saying sorry is people might think you are weak. Saying sorry constantly gives off the impression you are soft and shy. This is bad because people can take advantage of you or make fun of you. There is many bad things that can come up by saying sorry repeatedly. There are also many good things that can come up by saying sorry. People can think you are very respectful and have good manners. Saying sorry also is kind to say to people when you are or aren’t in the wrong, so it goes both ways.

I think developing speech habits are one of the hardest habits to break. I believe this because if you get accustomed to saying something like sorry constantly, you develop a strong mental habit that could take a long time break. Just like any habit it takes long to get used to it, but it takes even longer to break it.I think speech habits also tell you someone has used this word many times before so it might change your perspective of that person.

I believe an apology is truly in order by the tone of their voice, and how often the say it. To see if an apology is truly sincere evaluate how person says sorry. If they say repeatedly it may not be as sincere as if someone said it only at the right moment. Also the tone of their if they say snotty it obviously isn’t sincere. There are many things that you can tell if an apology is sincere but it is up to the person to evaluate the situation themselves.

In conclusion I don’t believe someone can apologize to much. It is ultimately up to the person that is being apologized to, to evaluate the apologizer to see if the apology is sincere or not. Although saying a lot sorry does have many down sides the pros of saying sorry outweighs the cons. Also the person in the habit needs to take the responsibility to break the habit if they truly believes it causes them problems.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 5:59 PM
MaryClaire Mangan

Honors English A5/B5

13 February 2014

I don’t feel like I say sorry too much. I think that a person really only needs to say sorry is if you did something wrong. Most of the time people say sorry for really little things. I don’t really see a problem with that. The only thing I would see a problem, is if someone never says sorry. I think that it’s rude to not say anything.

For example, the people that say sorry show respect. They also show good manners. Not only this, but it also shows that the person really means they’re sorry for whatever that did. As a kid, we were always told by someone to say you’re sorry to someone. Now that we’re older, we can do that by ourselves.

I think that when most people were little, they had a habit of saying sorry a lot. I think that if you didn’t say sorry as much when you were little, then you probably won’t be much in a habit of saying it too much now. I think that people would think that they are rude, but they might not be used to it.

Just as people might not be used to it, maybe some people would have to adjust to trying not to say sorry too much. I don’t really see any problems with anyone saying sorry too much, because if you think about it, it’s better than them not saying anything. I think that some people might get annoyed by it, but I think they would be more annoyed if nothing was said.

I think that habits can relate to this, because saying sorry too much is a habit. Some habits are bad, and I don’t really think it is. Some habits I have when talking, is I start to laugh because I get nervous and I like to hide my face when I have to talk. I think these would be considered bad habits.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 6:35 PM
Ashley Gaston
Wright
Period 4

I do not apologize too much to the point when it’s useless. I only apologize when I really need to. Apologies are only needed when something is not intentional and it’s on accident. But if you answer a question and get it wrong, there is no need to apologize. You just answered it wrong and that’s okay because the question is not important, I can see if you bump into somebody in a store because you were not looking and you say I’m sorry. I do that most of the the time only because its respectful to apologize for something that didn't mean to happen.
I feel that some people over apologize for things that they don’t need to be apologizing for. That makes me mad because it gets annoying if you apologize for every little thing. One thing that really makes me mad is if someone apologizes for asking a question. Its not a problem with asking a question so why apologize for it. I think people who over apologize also grew up like that because they grew up respect. I grew up with respect but I was taught apologize for what you do wrong or if you know its something you need to apologize for.
I apologize to the right extent. if you bump into me and I apologize even if its not my fault, I expect you to apologize back because you were the one who did the wrong. I think that apologizing is only required if its a wrong-doing involved because you don’t need to apologize for everything you. Unless everything you do is completely wrong which I highly doubt.
I think sometimes apologizing just slips out sometimes. You don't think your saying it but you really are. You don't notice but everyone else does notice your apology. I think if you apologize too much people would start to stop trusting you because they constantly think your doing something wrong since you keep apologizing. Your trust with that person will start to run low because you’re apologizing which makes you look like the bad guy.
Sometimes apologizing is really good. You get respect from others because they know you will be able to respect them. Apologizing shows that you aren’t a trouble maker and you own up to what you do wrong. I know I apologize for things and people respect me more and want to talk to me. But if you show that you apologize too much then people would take you for granted and use you. They will begin to think you're weak and can’t stand up for yourself. There are pros and cons of apologizing.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 6:36 PM
Bobbi Munoz
Ms.Wright
Honors English
A4/B5

I have heard a person who always says sorry. I don't really listen to what they are saying because it seems like after every sentence they are saying sorry. I can see that they are not very confident about what they are saying. The person was not very sure about what they were saying and they sounded like they did not really even know what they are talking about. It is better if they don't say sorry even if they don't know.

I bad thing about always saying sorry is that people will take what you say serious and they will think that you don’t know what you are talking about. When you are in a place of working and everytime you say something there is a sorry after that shows that you don’t really think what you just said is important and people will not really listen to what you have to say. When people say sorry too much that is a bad thing because like in it said article

I the words “like” and “um” more often than I should. When I say those word is does not sound very professional. When I am talking to some that I am trying to impress saying umm all the time does not help me very much. If I want someone to take me seriously. I have tried to change the way but making sure that I knew what I was going to say before I said it, that did not really help my habits as much as I would have liked it did do something.

I think that people get into the habit of saying sorry to people because like Audrey S. Lee said “ I felt that I didn’t have as much to offer as my elders, and that what I had to say wasn’t worth a whole lot. Blame and shame usually trickled down the hierarchy in my family, and usually landed at my feet.” When a person think that they around people that are higher than them they will feel like they have to said an apology. They are insecure about what they are doing and they always think that they are doing something wrong.

An apology is truly needed if you think what has happened will last longer than a day. When you do something that could really hurt another person then you should say sorry. an apology is not needed after every time you talk to some one. A person should know when you need to say sorry because if not then you could damage the relationship that you have with that other person. When someone does something wrong to you, you would want them to know what they did and how to apologize. It is the same way round, you should know what you did and how to say sorry.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 6:37 PM
Written by Juan Ramos 4th period

I have been in a situation much like the one Ms. Lee describes. It happens to me still to this very day where i apologize even though i did not do anything to offend that person. The person infact did the act to me but it was my second nature that had me apologizing without thinking about it. This action happens multiple times no matter if a person does an action to me, I still apologize because i feel that it is necessary. Furthermore Sorry is something i feel that will clear up a situation quick and easy before the situation gets out of hand and becomes a big commotion.

As for people falling into the habit i believe it is really just the same circumstances i have. I believe people fall into the habit because they use sorry as a mechanism to avoid situations they really do not want to be involved in such as arguments and any other conflicts.Also people might feel that every situation that goes wrong is their fault so they sorry all the time to try to so call repent for their actions,however, as Ms. Sarah Ockler quoted:”Would 'sorry' have made any difference? Does it ever? It's just a word. One word against a thousand actions.”
― Sarah Ockler, Bittersweet. People sometimes do overuse the word a lot even if the saying is genuine. People fall into the habit and if they overuse the word it becomes meaningless and leaves other with no sense of actually believing them. The over usage of a single word can change a person’s view on another person entirely.

Going back about how if a person overuses the word the entire view of a person may change, there are more drawback to the habit. Another drawback is that others will see that a person is easily able to forgive people and the other person will see that as a way to overtake your kindness or as a pushover so they will do whatever they want and they will think that they can get away with it. The plus of the habit however is that people will see you as a kind person and they will come that person because they can be trusted and also can know who to have a person who has a compassionate personality to forgive others. Another is that people will see the person as a problem solver because the person is able to forgive others. The pros and cons balance out the habit but there are many to still be discussed about.

I believe that our speech habits are a little part of what makes our personality ours.The speech habits show a little side of how interact with others. The habits however should not only show how a person is or how that person acts. Like the Dalai Lama once said To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else- His holiness the Dalai Lama. This shows that the habits of speech should not be the only one being looked at when a person is evaluated about his/her personality.

An apology is only in order if a person has done actual harm to another person. This pertains to physical harm,emotional harm. and or anything that hurts a person. Apologies are only in order because it has to be issued to clear things with the other person who has been hurt by that person. It is not something that should be overused due to it will be meaningless after a while. This the only true way to use an apology in an appropriate time.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 7:14 PM
Written By Andres Davalos Pd.5
Yes, I have been in the same situation as Ms.Lee but as the listener. As she says in her story: " You don’t need to unless you really did do something wrong, O.K.? ". This happened to me when my friend was blaming herself because she was nervous and un appealing and she just kept on saying sorry when none of us were telling her anything. Being the listener in the conversation isn't the best because you're just like a bystander that's just watching when in reality you know inside that, that person shouldn't be the one saying sorry but you should be. I think people have to understand like Lee that after a while saying sorry constantly gets annoying because people see that you really aren't mature yet to make decisions that either affect you or even benefit you but affect others.
People fall into the habit of constantly saying sorry is because they really want people to see that they also made a mistake not only them. But Ms.Lee had a different viewpoint: "As the youngest girl in the family, I felt that I didn’t have as much to offer as my elders, and that what I had to say wasn’t worth a whole lot". She only got into the habit as a very young girl who wanted to show a lot of respect; however, she got into the habit and now she's realizing that she doing something bad for herself and her self image as a person. I really think that when somebody gets into the habit of constantly saying sorry depending on the person they're hiding something. Getting in the habit of saying sorry is the cause of people controlling you as life progresses because they start to manipulate people and get them to do what they want to benefit them.
The drawbacks of this habit is that people will control you over time, then people start to make fun of you and finally people start to get annoyed after a while. With the fact that slowly over time people will be taken over and controlled and eventually everybody would remember them as the nicest person in the world why would anybody do them anything. l when somebody ends up making fun of that person they start to blame themselves; furthermore, they get " the end of the stick" and nobody wants to be their friend anymore. Especially in work you need to be strong in every situation no matter the cause because they want people that are mean like the boss that can fire people and take charge right away. The good thing about saying sorry is that people would realize that you're sorry for your mistake and hopefully that person could forgive you.
My bad speech habits are that I always try to critique instead of respect others. I learned my lesson because I was critiquing my best friend in the whole wide world, and now I lost her best of my big mouth so from now on I will just shut up because I need to see how I value things in life. I have broken one which might take a while to keep away but I will learn and hopefully I could gain her friendship back over time. My bad speech causes a lot of trouble and probably even affects many people in a way. The speech habits just show how we view ourselves as people and as people that have high expectations to succeed.
My speech habit has been hard and causes me to lose confidence because of the fact that I have to depend on my luck to succeed. An apology is only in order when they are saying sorry right after the situation, but in reality this apology is only correct if people mean it for real. The only time for these people to get fully forgiven is when they go out of their way for causing harm and actually decide to do something and make a change to show that they want to really get forgiven. I think that the right reason for somebody to continue on saying sorry is the cause of people to eventually getting the understanding that, that person means well and really has in no need of causing harm. I know that saying sorry again and again might not show a lot of effect and that just is the cause of repetition making your voice to heard and understood.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 7:38 PM
I always been the listener. I never apologized for bring up a topic that i need reassurance on. I always judge others on their self confidence and decide if they are actually worth my time. I find it way more effective to find out who the proactive thinks are, instead of the shy, anti-social people. Sometimes I feel like it’s a bad thing, but then again I’m not the one apologizing.
I think some people say sorry too much because they feel like their presence is an inconvenience to others. It seems like they don’t believe in themselves or the work they do. The probably were never praised for their good work. Unlike me, I was always congratulated and recognized for my excellent work, which is why i never fall into the habit of saying sorry, unless I feel saying sorry is the appropriate response.
I think saying sorry an excessive amount of time drives people to confusion. I know if someone were to be constantly apologizing to me for anything, I would think I’m not treating that person well. But that isn’t the case at all, because they just have a habit of saying that word. The only good that can come of this is that people might think you have a nice personality for always saying sorry.
One speech habit that I have is saying “um” or “uh” in my explanations. I haven’t changed it because I don’t think people mind. I just continue to do it. I don’t think it’s a problem because I only say it to add more thought to what I’m going to say, within those few seconds of saying “um/uh”. I think its a benefit.

I think speech habits can tell how intelligent a person is. Obviously a person with improper grammar skills won’t have the best speech skills, meaning they probably weren’t taught correctly. But people with proper grammar and speak articulately seem more reliable and more intelligent, in my point of view.

I think an apology is appropriate when you are at fault. If you knew you made a mistake and that it’s your fault, you should apologize. Otherwise, it really doesn’t make sense to apologize for other people’s mistakes. And if you apologize for their faults, they won’t learn to have manners.

-JOEL M. V∆LDEZ
Period 5
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 7:39 PM
I always been the listener. I never apologized for bring up a topic that i need reassurance on. I always judge others on their self confidence and decide if they are actually worth my time. I find it way more effective to find out who the proactive thinks are, instead of the shy, anti-social people. Sometimes I feel like it’s a bad thing, but then again I’m not the one apologizing.
I think some people say sorry too much because they feel like their presence is an inconvenience to others. It seems like they don’t believe in themselves or the work they do. The probably were never praised for their good work. Unlike me, I was always congratulated and recognized for my excellent work, which is why i never fall into the habit of saying sorry, unless I feel saying sorry is the appropriate response.
I think saying sorry an excessive amount of time drives people to confusion. I know if someone were to be constantly apologizing to me for anything, I would think I’m not treating that person well. But that isn’t the case at all, because they just have a habit of saying that word. The only good that can come of this is that people might think you have a nice personality for always saying sorry.
One speech habit that I have is saying “um” or “uh” in my explanations. I haven’t changed it because I don’t think people mind. I just continue to do it. I don’t think it’s a problem because I only say it to add more thought to what I’m going to say, within those few seconds of saying “um/uh”. I think its a benefit.

I think speech habits can tell how intelligent a person is. Obviously a person with improper grammar skills won’t have the best speech skills, meaning they probably weren’t taught correctly. But people with proper grammar and speak articulately seem more reliable and more intelligent, in my point of view.

I think an apology is appropriate when you are at fault. If you knew you made a mistake and that it’s your fault, you should apologize. Otherwise, it really doesn’t make sense to apologize for other people’s mistakes. And if you apologize for their faults, they won’t learn to have manners.

-Joel M. Valdez
Period 5
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 7:45 PM
I definitely agree with your argument. I love how much detail you put into writing this piece! I really appreciate the points of views you shared and why. Although some point I disagree on, overall we have the same view.

-Joel M. Valdez
Period 5
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 8:16 PM
Yes, I have met people that apologizes too much. For example, my mom likes to say sorry in every situation. Sometimes I find it annoying because I can not understand her reasons for apologizing. Moreover, I feel she is being unfriendly and withdrawn. All in all, people that apologize too much are usually misunderstood.

I can not fully comprehend the reason behind their speech habit. I assume they are trying to be nice and sincere; hence, they apologize constantly to be more normal. To them, apologizing must be a way to be accepted by others. For instance, I sometimes use different dialect when I speak to certain groups of people. I admit I like to use slang and swear words when talking to my friends; however, I will never use them when I am talking to teachers. This is similar to people who apologize too much such that they apologize because they believe it's the right way to talk to people.

Apologizing too much can lead to drawbacks. Apologizing too much can be misunderstood by other people. They might think they are being unfriendly, withdrawn, and too formal. People will believe they are apologizing because they are scared or just don't want to be friendly with them. When talking to friends, people tend to use informal language; as a result, they feel more close to each other.

I have a certain bad speech habit that I am aware of. When I talk, I usually like to add, "Uhmm," to the middle of my sentences. Sometimes I am unaware that I am doing this, and most of the times I feel I can't control it. I don't think I need to break this habit. I believe that speech habits can help someone speak. Speech habits help them feel calm and more relaxed when speaking.

This tells us that it's normal to develop habits. Habits are normal, and sometimes it's what make us human. Without habits, people will not know how to deal with stress and other situations. Habits help people stay calm and feel more relieved. For example, I like to touch my glasses, and this usually makes me more focused.

Apologizes are needed when someone intentionally causes damage. Accidents are accidents. No one wanted it to happen, and no one had motive. Both sides were not in fault; therefore, an apology is not needed. However, If someone intentionally causes damage, that person is at fault. They are aware of their actions, and an apology will be appropriate.
Andy Xu
English Period 5
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 8:56 PM
Written by: Andrea Aguilera
Honors English Pd. 3

I have been in a situation which was kind of similar to Ms. Lee’s. I have always been a person who says sorry way too much, and I know that it bothers people. I have always been a person who says sorry a lot, I wouldn't want a person getting mad at me for something I didn't mean to do, so I say sorry. Personally, I think that I am one a person who only causes problems for to others, so I say sorry. Even the slightest think I do I usually say, “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry. No really, sorry.” Usually the person says it’s okay, but to me it’s not and I feel bad because of it. I think that me opening my mouth in the first place is a mistake, so doing something wrong is even worse for me.
In the same way, I think that people fall into the habit of saying sorry is because they feel bad for doing something, at least for me it is. I think that a person might feel the need to say sorry because they feel as if someone won’t forgive them if they don’t say sorry. Another reason a person might constantly say sorry is because they want other people to know that they feel bad for what they have done or if they just want to make sure things are okay between the two people. Sometimes, I feel that people forget the real meaning of sorry and just say it to be polite but they forget what the true meaning is, and this happens too much for some people.
In fact, saying sorry too much has drawbacks to it. If a person says sorry too much, people will begin to get annoyed with that person that they won’t take their apologies seriously. If you say sorry too much, than when you are really trying to say sorry, that person won’t take it very seriously. Saying sorry can have a few perks, though. If you say sorry to a person often, than they might have the idea that you want their forgiveness and that you are a good and kind person.
A bad speech habit that I have is that I say sorry a lot. I said sorry to my best friend so much, that we lost our friendship for a while. I kept on saying sorry whenever I asked a simple question or a had a different opinion than hers. I kept on telling her “sorry” and “are you mad at me,” another bad habit of mine, and eventually she snapped. She told me she couldn't take me seriously till I learned to be my own person, stopped saying sorry, and gained self-confidence. This incident made me reflect on the way I am. I realized that I felt way too bad about a lot of things and that I needed to teach myself to be more forgiving towards myself. I didn't tell her or anybody else sorry as much anymore and I became myself, and they accepted me that way. Sometimes, when I lose myself, I realize that I start to say sorry a lot more and worry about what other people think of me more.
Specifically, speech habits have a big part in how others view us. For me, I think that my speech habits allow people to realize that I am very self-conscious. I always worry if people are mad at me, and I think this makes people realize that I am weak. People see me as a different person once they know that I feel bad about a lot of the things I do and have done. Speech habits allow others to determine how smart a person is, how they see themselves, and how they see others. Personally, I believe speech habits have a lot to do with the way a person is.
To summarize things, I believe that an apology is appropriate when someone gets hurt, whether it is physically or mentally. An apology is acceptable when a person feels truly bad for what they have done and believe that the only way to make things better is by saying sorry. We shouldn't abuse the power of the word sorry, because it is a word that has a lot of significance and importance, we just have to know when to use it.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 10:40 PM
Armando Quintana Period 4
Yes I have been in similar situations like Ms. Lee, but I believe I am more of the listener. I admit I do have a habit of apologizing, but only when I know I am at fault. Usually when I hear people apologize frequently I ask he or she to stop apologizing. Since, there is no need to apologize, in addition I ask he or she why they are apologizing for. Most of the time people respond back I don’t know or say something that they already apologized for.
I believe people fall into the habit of constantly saying they are sorry because of personal morals, family, and experiences. Some people have the moral of apologizing for what have done wrong, but some people over exaggerate. Or in other terms their family might have raised them to be nice to others, and when you do something wrong or bad you must apologize to be polite. Lastly I think people might have formed the habit by personal experiences that can be bad or good. As in if a person did not apologize and things went wrong, or it could be the other way around by apologizing something good happened. I guess it depends on a person's experiences.
The drawbacks of this habit is making yourself look weak or unconfident when talking or doing something. People will eventually become irritated of your constant apologies. Lastly people may end up believing your apologies mean nothing because you apologize too much. When you apologize to much you make yourself look weak and unconfident because you can’t perform a job without being scared of making a mistake. People will eventually become irritated with your apologies that they will think they mean nothing. Due to the fact that you would be apologizing too much that you're apologizing will have no meaning and will not seem effective when truly apologizing.
A habit that I have is getting really nervous when talking to a group of people. When I try to talk I stutter and frequently say umm. I still have that problem today, I am not used to publicly speak in front of a crowd, so I eventually formed this habit to stutter and frequently say umm. I think I can break this habit by preparing myself to talk in front of a group of people, so instead of stuttering and saying umm to find the right words I can already be prepared.
I think our bad speech habits shows or tells what kind of people we are. So if you apologize too much you are making others believe certain things of you. As in assumptions like they are apologizing because they are afraid that they have done something wrong and are weak. I think this because our speech is how we express ourselves as people. So if you have speech problems people can make assumptions about the way you behave and actually talk.
Personally I really think you should apologize when you commit something that is your fault and no one elses. There is no point in apologizing for something you did not do or was not much of a big deal. If you apologize for something that is not such a big deal, you are making yourself look unconfident in others eyes. As if you are afraid that if you don't not apologize for everything someone will hurt you. That is not the case you should be able to tell whether somethings are worth apologizing and when something isn't worth saying anything and just letting go.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 10:45 PM
Armando Quintana Period 4 (This is the final one actually has a quote.)
Yes I have been in similar situations like Ms. Lee, but I believe I am more of the listener. I admit I do have a habit of apologizing, but only when I know I am at fault. Usually when I hear people apologize frequently I ask he or she to stop apologizing. Since, there is no need to apologize, in addition I ask he or she why they are apologizing for. Most of the time people respond back I don’t know or say something that they already apologized for.
I believe people fall into the habit of constantly saying they are sorry because of personal morals, family, and experiences. Some people have the moral of apologizing for what have done wrong, but some people over exaggerate. Or in other terms their family might have raised them to be nice to others, and when you do something wrong or bad you must apologize to be polite. Lastly I think people might have formed the habit by personal experiences that can be bad or good. As in if a person did not apologize and things went wrong, or it could be the other way around by apologizing something good happened. I guess it depends on a person's experiences.
The drawbacks of this habit is making yourself look weak or unconfident when talking or doing something. People will eventually become irritated of your constant apologies. Lastly people may end up believing your apologies mean nothing because you apologize too much. When you apologize to much you make yourself look weak and unconfident because you can’t perform a job without being scared of making a mistake. People will eventually become irritated with your apologies that they will think they mean nothing. Due to the fact that you would be apologizing too much that you're apologizing will have no meaning and will not seem effective when truly apologizing.
A habit that I have is getting really nervous when talking to a group of people. When I try to talk I stutter and frequently say umm. I still have that problem today, I am not used to publicly speak in front of a crowd, so I eventually formed this habit to stutter and frequently say umm. I think I can break this habit by preparing myself to talk in front of a group of people, so instead of stuttering and saying umm to find the right words I can already be prepared.
I think our bad speech habits shows or tells what kind of people we are. So if you apologize too much you are making others believe certain things of you. As in assumptions like they are apologizing because they are afraid that they have done something wrong and are weak. I think this because our speech is how we express ourselves as people. So if you have speech problems people can make assumptions about the way you behave and actually talk.
Personally I really think you should apologize when you commit something that is your fault and no one elses. There is no point in apologizing for something you did not do or was not much of a big deal. A project manager once said, “Stop saying ‘sorry’! You don’t need to unless you really did do something wrong, O.K.? The team and customers will think that you aren’t confident when you always apologize!” this was directly said to Ms. Lee and I agree with this statement. If you apologize for something that is not such a big deal, you are making yourself look unconfident in others eyes. As if you are afraid that if you don't not apologize for everything someone will hurt you. That is not the case you should be able to tell whether somethings are worth apologizing and when something isn't worth saying anything and just letting go.
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 11:53 PM
John Capers
Ms. Wright
Honors English

I am often associated with those of speaking. I always felt that saying sorry was a polite way of saying that it wasn't their fault or mine. I regard saying sorry as a way of being polite because I believe myself to have to be polite to anyone new I have met as to make a good impression. As a result, I overuse the word sorry as it is a very simple and easy way of getting the point across that I don’t want trouble and that I will take fault as to not make this into a pointless fight. In conclusion, saying sorry is an easy, and commonly used way of being polite and wanting to defuse a situation quickly and without hassle.

On the other hand, falling into the habit of saying sorry is something that can be influenced only by those who are of greater authority of themselves. Like Ms. Lee, who’s father wanted them to stay true to their Asian culture, made her less confidence in her abilities to the point of her undermining herself. Another point is from this quote by Audrey S. Lee: “As the youngest girl in the family, I felt that I didn't have as much to offer as my elders, and that what I had to say wasn't worth a whole lot. Blame and shame usually trickled down the hierarchy in my family, and usually landed at my feet. A broken vase? Spilled milk? Mistakes? All eyes were on me. So from early on, I started apologizing first, just to get it out of the way.” This is easily seen among those in large families or the youngest because they are usually blamed for other’s and mistaken actions and have to repeatedly say it in immediate defense, yet in some cases that were unknown to us, it can also escalate the situation. So as a result, we develop the habit of saying sorry for every little thing that we do.

Once this habit is used as constantly as it is like Ms. Lee once used it, sorry can very well lose it’s very meaning and can be seen as not really being sorry and only saying it. This isn't really the case for most causes as they are usually genuine of their own sorry. Another bad habit is that it can also escalate the situation because, dependent on the person, can be considered minimal in effort of really being apologetic as it is commonly used as an apology.

My own speaking habit is not thinking before talking. I feel like if I can’t answer quick enough, then people might think of me being dumb. I know that isn't the case anymore as people do know I’m smart and now it is just habit. I also due the occasional “Huh” or “Uh”, in succession to my not thinking before talking this usually comes with it. I struggle with breaking it and I really try to think quick and complete my thoughts, then say it so that it’ll make more sense. I believe I need to be more clearer in thought and faster than others when thinking of ideas.

They speak volumes in our confidence level. I don’t know why exactly, but if we have more confidence then the person will speak more clearer and with complete thoughts as opposed to someone who constantly stutters. It can be inferred that we as a people show that we can be very confident in our abilities if we talk more, speak clearer, and act with more confidence. This goes with being raised as a kid, most likely being an only child, and learning to be more confident and not falling in the background of siblings.

An apology is only in order when you truly do something vile, or questionable, to someone. For example, if I were to trip you by accident and you break your leg, that is something that requires sorry and more. On the other hand, bumping into someone doesn't require an apology especially in the city where people will bump into others constantly throughout the day. At this point in time, it can be very meaningless and ignored if you say something for doing an action that doesn't require any type of sorry because no anger or stress is induced.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 12:07 AM
Rolando Sifuentes
English P4
First, I have been into a situation like Ms. Lee where I apologies too much. For example, when I was young I would apologies to everyone. I just didn't want people to think of me as bad. So everyone saw me as a nice guy. In other words, I was in the same situation.
Pursuing this further, I think people fall into the habit os because they don't want to be mistaken. For example, when they push into someone they dont want to start a fight. So they say sorry. They just want to mind there own business. As well, they don't want to be involved.
in contrast, the drawbacks for saying sorry too much is that people think you're sensitive. The good thing is that people think you're a good person. I have my own bad speech habits when I say sorry randomly. For example, I would talk then change to another subject and I would say sorry.Furthermore, people think your a respectable person.
to be sure, these habits say about us is that were respectful. We simply mind our own business. Then if they do, they say sorry. They just don't want to be mistaken for the bad guy.Specifically, it says that these habits make them over protective.
Lastly, how I know its truly in order if it is said correctly. The right time to say sorry is when something serious happens. For example, say sorry when you say something mean or wrong. Also, to limit your apologies. In conclusion, say sorry when you mean it.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 9:26 AM
Mariah Harris
Period 5

I’ve been in a situation similar to the one Ms.Lee described. I experienced It with one of my previous partners. My partner constantly apologized for everything then moved on, meanwhile, It always left me wondering what she did wrong. I’d sometimes stare at her to see what was wrong, but she never noticed. She never really had reasoning behind her apologies, which were very sincere.
I think people fall into that habit when they experience something, they should’ve said sorry for but didn’t. People who constantly say sorry can be really sincere and concerned about other’s point of view on them. Since they are always concerned, Maybe they experienced a situation where they were really hurt and no one apologized. For example, They could’ve felt like they really deserved an apology, and didn’t receive one. They could just have a really genuine heart and feels the need to.
A drawback of this habit is coming off as weak. Many people may feel that it’s a sign of weakness or a sign or resistance. Though it may be a good thing to apologize for your mistakes, you may apologize for things that are out of anyone’s control. It’s a bad thing to state something you feel strongly about, then back down and apologize. That persuades people to believe you’ll never truly stand up for yourself, consequently, they’ll just walk over you.
However, Apologizing may be a good thing. In fact, Many people have a problem with apologizing. Having the ability to do so, without even hesitating is a good deed. Not apologizing to someone when you’re in the wrong, makes the situation even worse.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 1:01 PM
I have been in a situation like this before. I was the listener to the over apologetic person. I think some people do it because they were raised to always say sorry, even if it wasn't there fault. Some parents taught there kids this but never taught them what to say it for and when it was appropriate to say it. Later when they are older they say sorry for every action or reaction that they do, whether it is negative or positive. The biggest and most concerning draw back is that people will always think you are weak and are inferior to them. This could possibly, and most likely lead to the apologizer to get bullied and pushed around for the rest of their life. On the contrary, this would decrease your chances of engaging in violent activities and prevent injuries inflicted due to a dispute. One of my bad speech habits is not a thing that happens while talking normally, but when I am reading or reciting something out loud I stutter a lot. A speech habit I have over come is monotone. When I would speak out loud I would have one consistent tone or sound in my voice. Moreover, it made me sound like a robot. I have over came this by enhancing and elaborating my vocabulary. In addition, I have became more fluent and enthusiastic with my speaking. I think speech habits define our strengths and weaknesses and let one another know exactly how this person is socially. A person that is loud and outgoing is most likely a confident participant socially. On the other hand, Someone who is quiet and a non participant most likely is not confident and lacks communication with certain people. To illustrate, if you want someone to apologize for what they have done, you will most likely stare them down until they get the message. IF you are being stared down after bumping into them, or knocking their possessions over, you know you should apologize. Personally, I don't have to think about apologizing to someone. It is like a mental switch that activates when you know for sure that an apology is needed.
dennis Kramer / period 4
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 1:39 PM
Yadira Saldierna
Ms. Wright
Period 4

"I'm sorry", this is a phrase we repeat all of the time. Or at least some people do. Many peo ple believe apologizing is for the weak, some say it too often, and others aay when they are truly sorry. I'm the type of person who says sorry in almost every conversation that I have.
I think this happens because people feel the need to apologize for everyday little things that happen. Many people actually do somethind like bumping into someone, or some other small mistake. In these situations it's ok to say that you're sorry. I'm very clumsy and have to apologize for what small mistakes that I've made.
Few people don't apologize in these situations and just keep walking on by. A common belief amoung some people is that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Saying "I'm sorry" just isn't how they live their lives. I don't think these type of people really care for other people too much. Like other people's thoughts and feelings dont really mean anything.
People can also over apologize. When this happens apologies are meaningless to the person being apologized to. The person just says it so much it just doesn't do anything anymore. These people use it as a common phrase. Just a eat to get out off or move along a question.
We apologize a lot as human beings. It's just a way to deal with something we feel guilty about. There are times when an apology is necessary. Other times an apology serves no purpose. We need to apologize and mean it.

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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 2:03 PM
Written by Jor-El Santos - Period 4

Apologizing is a natural instinct for everybody. If we do something wrong, we respectfully apologize. It is just something that everybody should practice. Usually, when we are in a crowded area, we tend to nudge people out of the way to get through. As we make our way around the crowded area, we say “excuse me”, or “sorry” when you accidently bump into someone. I got to a high school, and it can get very crowded. To make my way around the school, I need to walk in between people to get through. While doing this, my shoulder might hit someone else’s shoulder. If that does happen, all you have to do is take the blame and say “my bad.” or “I’m sorry”. It would be rude if someone knows that they pushed you out of the way and did not apologize. That is why I apologize because it is something that you naturally say.

People tend to apologize a lot because they do not want others to think negative about them. Although apologizing constantly may get irritating, I believe that is very respectful. If someone believes that they made a mistake, they decide if they want to apologize about it. They believe that the mistakes that they made will affect you, so they apologize. These people fall into this habit because they want to have a positive self-image. They do not want to be that rude person that everybody seems to hate. If everybody apologized, we would be more forgiving. These traits will cause less tension between people who have a problem. Apologies often come from the heart, so people should be more open to them.

Apologizing is not a sign of weakness. It is showing that you are bigger person and that you will apologize respectfully. In the article it Ms. Lee states, “I discovered that having a perpetually apologetic stance didn’t necessarily represent true humility”. This quote shows that apologizing should not make someone feel inferior. Apologizing is a way to make someone feel less relieved about the mistake that they made. You should not feel humiliated after bumping into someone. You should not take the blame and say something “I’m so sorry, that is totally my fault.” If someone were to say this, it might show weakness. This a drawback to apologizing. Apologizing should not be a weakness, but a strength. I believe if you continue apologizing, you will be respected, not looked down upon.

Speech habits are things that are made based on how you were taught reading and writing. Everybody was taught how to read in a different way. If you read differently, you might start a speech habit. My speech habit is that tend to start reading in my head if I am reading out loud. As I read, I look at the words and instantly think about them in my head. This causes me to speak odd while I read aloud. I should try to break this by reading slower and more accurate. Doing this will help me become a better speaker and reader. My speech habits really show that everybody cannot successfully do things involving reading and writing. One person might be better than the other person. Nobody should be judged based on how they speak. It just how they like to say things or that is how they are used to saying something.

Apologies should be said when you know that you did something wrong. If you do not apologize for something that you know that you did wrong, then you are considered to be rude. Apologies are only necessary when it is needed. Too much apologies can be overwhelming for someone who is constantly hearing it. Apologizing too much can lose the meaning behind it; for the same reason, we should gladly accept an apology. Only apologize when you know that it is appropriate. Life will be organized if we live in a world of apology and forgiveness.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 2:03 PM
Written By: Estrella Olivares period 4

I think everybody has been in a situation where they apologize when it isn’t their fault. Some of us have the habit of apologizing! Ms. Lee and I have been in that situation. I have apologized so many times in my life that it’s really hard for me to keep count. Most of the times I apologized are for stupid reasons. Especially when I never did anything wrong. For example, when someone bumps into me and they say sorry, instead of saying “its fine” I say sorry as well.
There is many reasons why people fall into the habit of saying sorry all the time. One reason could be that they have been blamed for everything all their entire life, that they get used to saying sorry. Another reason could be that the person feels less than the other people and feel like saying sorry is a good way to show respect. Most of the reasons why that person fell into the habit of constantly saying sorry depends on the person’s story/background.
Being apologetic can make people look weak and unconfident. Most people can agree that saying sorry makes you look like you are being controlled by that person. Out of all those negative things, there is some positive things about being apologetic. People that say sorry make other people see them as a nice warm hearted person that cares. For me, People that don’t say sorry are careless and rude.
Back in the beginning of middle school, I had my own bad speech habits. I had the habit of pulling my sleeve down when I was talking and I also had the habit of talking really fast. It took me a while to get rid of my habits, but at the end, all that hard work paid off. I just had to keep believing in myself. After all, I learned about how capable and determined I am. I also learned on how to help other people with the same bad habits as mine.
I believe that speech habits are meant to describe a person. Speaking can really help a person understand you. If you are able to look straight at a person when you’re talking, then you’re fearless. If you are able to talk clearly and professional, then you are confident. If you are able to stutter when you’re talking, then you are very timid. Speaking can really define a person.
Like I had said before, people have the habit of saying sorry. If people have the habit of saying sorry, it doesn’t always mean that they mean it when they say it. A person’s facial look changes when they are sorry. Not only the looks, but the tone of their voice can give it away.

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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 2:03 PM
I am not that kind of person who apologizes very often, nor have I never seen a person like Ms. Lee. I don’t know why she says sorry for everything; I think is just a habit to end a sentence. Maybe for them saying sorry is like for us saying “mmm” or pausing to say something. Some people might fall into this habit because they don’t want to bother someone. They might think that they will be taking their time so they say sorry for it.

The good thing about this habit is that people will think of you as a kind person so apologizing too much. There are more negative things about this habit than positive things. The bad thing is that people will think of you as insecure and unconfident which is bad. People will get bored and it is annoying to hear you say sorry for everything you do or say. There is nothing positive about this habit. The people with this habit should realize that they should apologize only when they are really sorry for what they have done.

I do have my own bad speech habits. I say thank you a lot. I say thank you every time someone does something for me, like picking a notebook I dropped or explaining me the homework. Many of my teachers might notice it others not probably because i say it in a low voice like if i was talking to myself. Since i say thank you I say it in appropriate situations not at the end of everything i say, I don’t think this is a bad habit i think is good, therefore I don’t look forward to change it. I hate people that don’t say thank you do something for them. For example, one time i held the door for an entire class to pass to the classroom and not a single one said thank you. Another time was when one of my friends dropped 5$ i picked it up for her and she didn’t bother to say thank you.

I don't think these habits say anything about us. They are just habits, everyone has their own habits. I have a friend who has a strange habit of staring at people and objects while thinking. Sometimes he will stare at someone thinking about something else and then realizing he was staring at them and those people just make weird faces. He told me this habit brought him many problems, one day he was caught staring at another person’s test while solving a math problem in his mind while the teacher was right in front of him.

I know when an apology is truly in order when you cause problem to someone. For example, if you drop someone’s books, than you should apologize or when you hit someone by accident, but only say sorry in situations where you are really sorry. If you didn’t does it accidentally, then why apologize? You were not really sorry for what you have done anyways.

Kevin Avila P5
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 2:05 PM
I’ve been in a situation where I’ve said sorry unnecessarily many times. In this case, I was the speaker. My algebra teacher from middle school was short-tempered when it came to dealing with me, and sometimes she gave us assignments in class that I struggled with. When I asked for help, she’d start yelling at me at how annoying I was being - this made me start to profusely apologize every time I asked her for help. In fact, I started to not ask for help at all; I feel like I annoyed her often. I started to realize that I wasn’t being assertive enough for the help, so I explained how and why I was struggling, instead of blindly asking for help.

I believe people fall into the habit of apologizing too much because they're afraid of the possible consequences. Additionally, some people are overly cautious; apologizing beforehand may prevent a future issue. Although this might seem like a good habit, saying "I'm sorry" before asking or declaring every time can get fairly annoying. Once you get into the habit of being a pushover, it sometimes feels like you have to be nice all the time. On the other hand, people might just want to seem aware of what you’re doing, not to interrupt you.

There are some drawbacks to apologizing too much. From my own experience, if you apologize too much, you may seem like a pushover. Letting people know that your decisions and opinions opens up weak spots and make you seem insignificant. However, apologizing would also help the image you create for other people. Seeming like a pushover can make you easily manipulable by other people. You can actually give the impression of being generous and considerate of others. Obviously, people can find the worst in the best things you do, so pessimism of others can give you a bad reputation.

I’ve had my own strange speech habits, like saying “basically” almost every time I explained something. This was, without a doubt, the most unnecessary word that I’ve said to in normal conversation. Even if I didn’t simplify what I explained, the word “basically” made me feel like I was actually being intellectual. Speech habits like apologizing could be for the same reason, to change how you feel. Saying “basically” every time told a lot about me: that I had a cocky personality. Apologizing too often to me makes people seem too insecure. I believe this because they don’t seem confident in their actions. Like Audrey S. Lee said, “I found that I could offer an honest self-portrait without being arrogant,” on the topic of apologizing; you don’t have to make it clear that you are unsure about your actions, just come off clean with your intentions.

Apologies have certain times to be said: when you acknowledge you’ve done something wrong, or you’ve unintentionally hurt someone. For instance, I’ve accidentally dropped someone’s books in the middle of the hall; that someone apologized along with me. Why would he apologize? I was obviously in the wrong, but it turns out that the person felt like he was at fault for being in the way. I wasn’t bothered by him apologizing, but I wondered why he might’ve thought it was his fault for dropping his books. That’s more of a proper time to apologize, but when you say it before or in the middle of every sentence, you make the statement more indirect. If you want to say something, you don’t have to apologize for saying something if you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s fine to say sorry actively when something is at your fault. On the other hand, if you feel like you’re a barrier to someone else, apologizing could go both ways with who’s at fault.

- Charles Chan Pd. 5
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 2:11 PM
Yes, like Joel said, there are many excellent points that you bring up here. For a topic of apologies and speech habits, this contributes many helpful views and opinions. I believe you could've added more opposing viewpoints and transitions, but I think it's great! Keep up with the quality work and you'll be an excellent writer. This matches up with the opinions I believe about apologizing!

- Charles Chan Pd. 5
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 2:52 PM
Daniel S Vazquez

Ms.wright

A4/B4 honors

I have not been in a situation such as ms.lee. The reason for this is because i am the oldest in my family. In my family when you are the oldest and also you are seen as the most responsible, you never say sorry unless you are being mannerful or if you had done something wrong. My family would look at me if something was wrong . I Have been taught from the very beginning to show pride, confidence and integrity. As a speaker I am heard and as a listener i will always ask a question if i wanted to during an appropriate time.

I believe that people fall into the habit of constantly saying I am sorry is when they don't have any confidence. Or they feel that everything they do is wrong and that they should apologize. I believe this because my cousin has this problem and i asked him, “why do you keep saying sorry?” He said, “ its just that i feel that everything i do is wrong, and that i am scared that people are going to judge me if i don't do the right thing. I believe people who have that problem need to gain confidence in themselves.

Even though his habit is really annoying I believe it may also be good. The way this may be good is that people who tend to say sorry may have good manners and look as if they are polite. Also to me a good reason for always saying sorry is that it is on impulse. This to me means that it is easier to say sorry right away then not being able to say sorry at all. So there are good reasons to have this habit and also bad reasons.

Well my biggest bad speech habit is that i talk too fast. I do this mainly because i am nervous and that i hate it when everyone is looking at me. On the other hand, i am also nervous because i am scared that when i a talking i will miss pronounce a word and make a goof of myself. But people find this as a good thing too because i get straight to the point. I have not broken out of this yet but i am trying. how, well i am just trying to take part in discussion as much as i can.

I think that the speech habits like these tell us the true persons attitude. I say this because i have seen people who are bad and bold when it comes to sports, but when it comes to talking they sit. To me this tell you about your inner self . Also no just you but the people around you too as well. They can see your confidence and your boldness when you are talking in front of a lot of people.

I know when a apologize is important is either one of three things. Theres the one everyone knows is when you are in trouble. this may be when you break something or just make a mess. Second is when you forget something, now this may be when you like forget your girlfriends birthday or when you feel bad for forgetting a mothers day president. Ok last is the “ I know one” this is when you are super sorry for doing something wrong that may have caused pain to another.

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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 2:53 PM
I have been in Ms.Lee's position as the speaker. Earlier in my life, I was really shy and sorry just seemed the appropriate way to start and end the conversation. When I spoke to people, for example, a girl I really liked, I didn't like the idea of being annoying to her so everytime we began speaking or ending I would say sorry for bothering her or wasting her time. People such as friends or family I would be more careful on using the word sorry. It really depended on the person overall.
People get into the habit of using the term "sorry" from many ways. One very common one is trying to impress your parents at a very young age that you have learned manners. Unfortunately it carry's to your adoloscence and gets really hard to get rid of.
Another one that is pretty much based on you is self conscience. If you have negative feelings towards yourself, "im sorry" will be a common thing for you to say.
I don't believe saying sorry a lot is a good thing. To me it's really bad for a few reasons. One is because people will step all over you and tease you about it. What I mean by that is that, one day someone is really going to harm you and they'll say to themselves, "oh whatever, he/she forgives me for everything". They know how you are and I say this from personal experience.
Speech habits like this make people look really dumb and "happy". The reason I say happy is because if youre forgiving people all the time and apologizing to people for things you didnt do, it makes it look like youre afraid to stand up to that person. That only leads to worse things for yourself. As mentioned before people will take advantage of the person you are and harm you in every way possible and expect to get away with it. This is why I say it makes you look soft or in other words, weak.
There's situations where you are suppose to apologize even though you dont want to. You apologize when you've done serious harm to someone, whether it's an accident or in a worse case, on purpose. This is when people will pick on you if you don't apologize because they know not to associate with you any longer. Things such as someone who passes away you must say sorry because you feel for them. These are the only cases you should really use the term "sorry".

Efrain Santacruz Period 5
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:09 PM
I have never been the person that constantly says sorry. However I have encountered my cousin who was very shy in 3rd grade. He was smaller than most of the other kids, so he often got intimidated. I told him that in order to avoid getting in trouble, he should just do what he is told and not do anything bad. Who was I to know that he would apologies instantly whenever the teachers called his attention. In brief, my cousin would always apologies if people started to yell at him.

I believe that some people fall into the habit of saying sorry for many reasons. First point being is that people rather avoid further consequences or long lectures from others. Next point is that a person committed an accident and truly is sorry for committing it. My final point is that some people don't know what else to say for something that happened. Most of these reasons can be bad in some cases like in the article. It can really affect a person.

It may not seem possible to be affected by constant apologising, but many drawbacks can occur. One of the major drawbacks is that the meaning of sorry will go away. Lets say that you really hurt someone bad in an accident that you caused. You feel guilty and try to help them understand that you are sorry. However the person knows that you always say sorry and they won't believe you. That would not be as great, right?

I’d say that my only major speech problem is when I try to make conversation with new people that I meet. The reason I say this is because I tend to ask a lot of questions, even when I already asked them like three times! Until this day I really haven’t broken the habit. My guess is that asking questions is my way to react in situation where I don't know someone. It helps me get clear on who the person is and if I could trust them.

I think apologies can tell a lot about a person. If someone caused an accident unindented and they are worried about what they caused ,then, that is when you know that the person is kind. On the other hand, if that person were to apologize right away, then you know that the person did not mean it. What I’m saying here is that the way a person reacts to a situation can help determine if they meant the apology. A person that really means it will remain concern until the problem is solved.
Written by: Diego Don Pd.3
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:11 PM
I think that i have been in a situation like Ms.Lees because when i was younger i would always feel like everyone blamed me for certain situations in the house and because i was younger i was a really easy target. So just to make everyone calm down i would just apologize even if i didnt have a reason too.
Some people may fall into the habit of constantly saying sorry because maybe they just want to make sure that they are being polite and that they are doing anything rude.However, in other cases like Ms.Lees and mine we just want to say sorry to make everyon else happy and make sure that people are very calm and not rowdy over silly things.
Some people may fall into the habit of constantly saying sorry because maybe they just want to make sure that they are being polite and that they are doing anything rude.However, in other cases like Ms.Lees and mine we just want to say sorry to make everyon else happy and make sure that people are very calm and not rowdy over silly things.
The Drawbacks Of Apologizing Too much is that people might think different of you and maybe think that you are scary and can't really defend yourself in situations because of you saying sorry. For example if someone bumps into you in the hallway and you're the one that says sorry It's Strange because you're not the one who should be saying sorry to anyone.

Nevertheless, Some People Just apologize just to be kind or show respect or maybe it's just a sort of habit and they don't even know it like Ms. Lee but there is a time and place to apologize and all its only when you absolutely need to.

Tyra Harris
Ms. Wright
Period 4
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:11 PM
I have never been in a situation where I have been over apologizing. I don't think I even say sorry about anything. I came from a school were people seemed to forgot what sorry meant, so basically I ended not saying sorry for anything. I guess it was because of the people that were around me. I hated everyone around me. I guess meme not saying for anything has become a habit and since I started high school not once have I tried to change.

I think people fall into the habit of saying sorry a lot is because they were probably easy to take advantage of. I have some friends who fall into that category. I know some of them say there sorry a lot because they just do, others because they just can help themselves but to be bad. Again, I'm not the type of person that says sorry for nothing and I believe if my friends lived like me then they wouldn't have to live with saying sorry a lot.

This habit has multiple drawbacks like being scared of everything. Like my friends, since they have a unhealthy habit of saying sorry their are always scared of something. Some other drawbacks include low self esteem. People that have a habit of saying sorry to much then they don't feel as powerful as they were before they had this unhealthy habit. Though this habit has many drawbacks, there are also benefits from this habit. One of the benefits is having respect. If you respect people then they'll respect you. I believe this the only benefit. But still, having this habit is bad anyways.

I think one of my bad speech habits is my nervousness. Me being nervous has been bringing me down for as long as I could remember. My nervousness only occurs when I meet new people. After I had some time meeting new people or after I'm just use to them I start acting like normal. Sometimes I don't do that because me being normal can sometimes scare people away. As result, I can't just meet people and get use to them, I have to get to know that person real good.

I know that an apology is actually meant by the look on people's faces. Sometimes facial expressions are key to know if the person's apology means something or not. Or sometimes people say sorry when they do have to. I believe an apology in order is when people actually need to apologize, unlike some people who deserve the apology are the one's that are apologizing.

- Felipe Islas P5

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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:31 PM
Dear Reader,

I have been in this situation, matter of a fact i do the same thing. I do this to people who are close to me, i do this because i value their opinions and what they have to say. Everytime i feel i came off too strong in a conversation with a close friend i begin to say sorry. Sorry is an expression of saying “i didn't mean it” or “i have great respect for you”. At some points with friends i'd say sorry for no reason. They would not have any expression, they were very formal. it didn't mean i hurt someone's feelings, i just did it because well i could.

Therefore, people who say sorry a lot simply say sorry because they simply can. Or maybe it can be a reason that people when they were younger they felt obligated to say sorry just because of their rank in age in the family. And from that it is normally turned into a big habit where the word “sorry” is in every sentence. To continue, after the cause of the habit because of family rank people find sorry as a word used to maybe demonstrate who they are. So that is why people who are accustomed to saying sorry just say it because they simply can.

Sadly, saying sorry mostly all the time may have some drawbacks to the individual.the bad drawbacks are that when speaking professionally people might not take you serious nor will they think your fit for a promotion. Remember, being a boss means to have good leadership skills, and when your a boss that says sorry a lot the coworkers will not get much done because they will think you aren't tough enough. This thought comes to every boss that thinks of promoting a co worker, “does he or she have good leadership skills to get work done or is he or she maybe too afraid to take up the job”. The co worker could have the best work ethic and gets everything done, but says sorry a lot and demonstrates poor leadership skills.

In the topic of sorry and speech habits, i used to find myself saying to other people a lot in sentences the words “just kidding”. This phrase would be used after a joke, which i told a lot, and it would totally annoy me because i said it so much that i couldn't stop. but after some self treatment, i decided to try not saying that phrase. I would catch myself every time i would almost say it and replace it with a different phrase. Even people have noticed that i had a habit that had to be broken because it was consuming me. “just kidding”, literally was apart of me. Believe it or not i broke it when i stopped telling jokes, it felt great!

Speech habits like this really characterize who we are as individuals, and make us unique when speaking and communicating with others.Speech habits like this describe a personality in each person. No matter the phrase or word, it still has a uniqueness to the person. The person chose that phrase as a habit to convey who they are to the world. They could be very mean, confident, nice, sweet, and more. Thats how i get know people, just by listening to their speech habits. As said, speech habits really have an impact on who you are to people and how you yourself is characterized based upon your habit.

In conclusion, the word “sorry” means an apology that shows remorse for an action a person does, but the word “sorry” can be seen as a habit with no remorse. Is it really an apology or is it just a habit. my opinion is when sorry is used for serious purposes then it should be taken as serious. Sorry is taken as true when circumstances are serious, that is only when sorry is to be taken as true. I also know when reading body language and approach of the person when saying sorry to me. It is true when the persons voice is remorseful and caring. Then you will know.Therefore, sorry is taken truly with absolute remorse and care.
Xe Cabrera-A5

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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:41 PM
I have been in the same situation as Ms.Lee. I was the listener. I've had people who I thought apologized to much. I hate when people apologize over nothing or for something they didn't do wrong or for something that wasn't their fault. Its irritating. They have no reason or need to say their sorry. It also makes me feel bad if someone apologizes for something that I did. Its not their fault. There's no need to apologize for my mistake.
Of course there are people who over apologize and constantly say sorry too much. I think that there can be many reasons for this. For example, if they were taught as a child to apologize when they are in the wrong, they might be a person who always thinks that they are doing something wrong. Especially if you have thought you were doing something correctly before and have gotten told otherwise. So, naturally, you would apologize just in case to be one step ahead.
There are drawbacks to apologizing too much. In addition, there are good things. Over apologizing can have people think that you are a nice, sweet, innocent, caring person. Since you're apologizing that could mean you care about people’s feelings and whatnot. But, it could also have people think that you are TOO sensitive or that you are annoying. Constantly apologizing can get pretty annoying and it can make a person seem weak with no ability to stand up for themselves.
A bad habit I have is biting my nails. Its probably one of the most common habits ever. Lots of people bite them because they are nervous. I just bite mine whenever. While I'm thinking. When I'm bored. While I'm listening to something. While I'm reading something. When I'm nervous. The list goes on and on. I’m still working on breaking this habit. I have broken a habit before but at the same time I didn't. I procrastinated a lot when it comes to getting my homework and other work done. Sometimes, to the point where I wouldn't even do it. I have gotten better with this; but it’s not completely broken yet. I still wait until late to do my homework or other things that I need to complete. But, I do it and I've been getting better at doing it earlier. I just realized how much it was effecting me and my grades etc. and decided it was time to make a change. I need to be out of this habit for college. I just gave myself motivation.
I never really considered apologizing to be a speech disorder. I see it more as a mental thing because the person feels the need to constantly say that they are sorry. Why? It could be something serious for their reason to apologize all the time. A speech disorder in my opinion is like a lisp or someone who stutters a lot. Something you hear when a person is talking. Either way, I don't feel that they necessarily define a person in any way. Maybe they would be considered annoying or sensitive as stated above, but that's not like who that person is. That's just opinions people would formulate.
You apologize when you have actually done something wrong. You will know when you have done something wrong because the person you hurt will be upset about it. That's when you apologize.

~Sharon Boyd P5
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:52 PM
Jazmin Juarez
A5- B5
I have been in Ms. Lee’s situation. I don’t apologise that much or at least not as often as I used to but I still do it a lot. I too am the youngest in my family; however, my brother is treated like the “baby”, but I didn’t grow up with my parents being harsh on me. I was expected to accomplish many things, for example get better grades than my brother. My parents didn’t really pressured me or I wasn't really grounded/ in trouble most of the time. When I was I would be scared of my punishment so I would say sorry a lot, this habit was kept and later in middle school I tried to correct it because I was bullied for being too nice.
People fall into the habit for various reasons. One of them is being shy or not confident enough. When you are not confident you think everything bad that happens is your fault even if it is not. People who suffer of anxiety or get stressed quickly may say sorry a lot if they get abused at home. Children who are bullied have a higher tendency than others because they “know” that they are doing or always do everything wrong.
The good things that come with this habit are that you you’ll get more friends because they will know that you actually value their relationship. Also people will think you are innocent and really nice. If you are a girl it sometimes seems cute to say sorry because it makes you sound delicate and adorable. The bad side to saying sorry too much is that people will bully you because you will seem an easy target. The reason you will look like an easy target is because you are already accepting that it’s your fault even if it is not. Also you will get less jobs because you aren't confident or sure of your self.
My bad speech habits are that I say too much “like” and “sorry”. I think that saying like was a habit of mine since I started learning English and I wanted to make a connection from other experiences. I already explained why I used to say sorry. I actually say “like” a lot less than I used to in middle school. I started to drop it when I joined debate and had to read what was written not make up my own ideas, however the word “like” is still very present in my life.
Our word choice says what kind of person we are. For example a person who is always saying bad words has no respect or manners. People who say “sorry” too much are shy or lack confidence. We know this because most people who do this act in the same way as other people who do it. In other word they share characteristics. You know that an apology is really meant when they say it to you in a sincere manner like looking at you in the eye or talking to you seriously. It is good to apologies but you must use it in moderation too much and not too much is bad.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:52 PM
Viviana Camargo
A/B4

No i have never been in a situation like Ms.Lee’s. i think that people fall into that habit because they are really sensitive about very detailed things. Some even have problems about their self esteems. there are some good things about saying sorry. You would only say sorry when you actually caused something wrong and above something little. There aren’t any good effects about saying sorry too much because that causes a lot of judgement. Personally, my bad speech habits are when i say the word “like” a lot. I tend to say it in most, if not all of my sentences when speaking. It feels as if though i am just comparing everything. I have broken out of one by just using another phrase that isn’t as annoying as the one that i was using before. I believe that everyone has that capacity of not saying a certain speech over and over again. I think speeches like this tells about a lot of our personality. There are a lot of people who are unique and can express that by saying a certain type of speech a certain way. You know when an apology is right when you caused the problem and only when the problem is huge

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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:56 PM
Alejandra Gutierrez
Period 4

I have not been in the same exact position as Ms.Lee describes. I don't apologize too much because if you apologize too much, people will end up taking an advantage of you. Then people wont start to take you seriously. People who haven't done anything shouldn't be apologizing. It isn't their fault.
People fall into the habit of saying sorry a lot because certain people don't want to cause any problems. They probably have a low self esteem and end up saying sorry so people won't bug them. When people fall into that habit its hard to break it. Some people find it to be the easier way out. Even if they didn't do anything bad.
Some drawbacks of this habit are that people wont take you seriously. People will end up taking an advantage of you. You probably wont even get hired to certain jobs. You'll be like a door mat. People will walk all over you. There really isn't anything good about this
One of my bad speech habits is that I say "um" a lot. I haven't broken this habit because its a hard habit to break. I end up saying "um" in every sentence I use to talk to someone. Another one is I talk really fast and really low. I talk really low because I don't want people to hear what I'm saying.
Speech habits like this says that were shy. We're probably scared to talk to people, who're bigger, taller, or even stronger than us. This says that were shy because if you say sorry a lot. You probably don't want to be bothered with anything or anyone.
An apology is truly in order when you hurt someone really bad, If the person feels guilty you know they were sorry. You can tell by their facial expressions. If someone was truly sorry, they'll show it. Actions speak louder than words.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 3:59 PM
Destini Steward
Wright
A5/B5
7 Feb. 2014
I have never been in Ms. Lee’s shoes, but I have experienced someone like her. I was working on a project, and my partner was extremely apologetic. She apologized when she sneezed. She was so irritating, and I did not want to work with her whatsoever.I continued to work with her throughout the duration of the project against my will. When we got our grade back, she apologized that it was like a 94% instead of a 100%.
I think some people fall into this habit because they have low amounts of confidence. They probably want everyone to like them, and be their friends. They feel the need to be socially accepted, so they think the way of getting there is to be more than nice to people. They do this by apologizing once every 12 seconds. They apologize for other’s faults, and take the blame as well.
There are plenty of drawbacks. If you continue to apologize more than needed, people will begin to think you’re a pushover. People will run all over you, and not even apologize, because you’ll do it. They won’t have respect for you at this point, and treat you how they want to. On the other hand, people may see you as nice and friendly.
My own bad speech habit is that I can be extremely rude with no remorse to myself. I might feel bad about it sometimes, but there is a very low chance of it happening. I try to be nicer to people, but I don’t want anyone to try to push me over, because I’ll push them back harder. I have been trying to be nicer by apologizing more. A fair amount of apologies won’t make you a pushover, just nice.
I think speech habits like this say that we are weak minded people. Ignorance is the worst speech habit, but most people have it. Speech habits like over apologizing makes you look like the weak link, like you deserve zero respect, which is not true. Everyone deserves to be respected. We deserve to all be equal.
I know an apology is in order when I am the one in the wrong. If you are a stubborn person by nature, than this is a hard skill to acquire. Knowing you’re wrong is very important, or you will be seen as a rude person. You need to apologize as soon as you realize you were wrong. No matter when you realize it, tell that person.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 4:01 PM
I have been in a situation Ms.Lee describes, but I have been the listener. I remember this girl in sixth grade that had very low self-esteem, nobody really was her friend, and everyone would make fun of her for no reason. I would just listen sometimes the way she talked to people and for some reason the only words that I heard come out of her mouth repeatedly was the word sorry. This girl would say the word sorry for practically anything. I felt really bad for this girl because she had no reason to say sorry to someone if she never did anything to them.

I believe some people fall into the habit of saying they’re sorry because for some people it the way they grow up. But, overall it depends on the situation the person is in. The situation depends because it might just be somebody's morals, personal values, or maybe just the way they grow up. Everyone is different from the next person. Some people might just say they’re sorry to show they have respect for you, to show their morals, or just to show they’re not ignorant people.

There are many drawbacks from saying sorry too much. Some drawbacks of saying sorry too much might include people taking you as a pushover, it shows you have no confidence in themselves, that they’re easily taken advantage of, etc. Some positive things that might come from saying sorry would be that people view you as a respectful person. Other people might see you as a person that has good morals, that they are polite, and well mannered.

I never really considered apologizing to be a speech disorder, in fact, I would consider apologizing as a mental thing. I would consider apologizing a mental thing because it’s something a person keeps on thinking and feeling the need to say. I feel like apologizing isn’t really that bad, it just show the type of person you are. People might take apologizing as annoying, or what not, but at the end of the day everyone is their own person.

I believe an apology is truly in order if the person that is apologizing is a sincere person. In fact it would be a person that rarely says sorry because for them to say sorry takes a lot.
Written by: Claudia Vega (PD5)
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 4:02 PM
I think that I can say the word " sorry " a lot in certain situations. I can get nervous and say sorry without any meaning to it. Ms. Lee describes it as a habit which I agree with her. Its hard not to say sorry when you are raised saying sorry for almost every little thing. Being in situation that you have no control over can be very nerve racking that you can mess up and have no choice but to say " Sorry".
When saying sorry people may think that you have low self-esteem and will most likely use it against you, since they know you won't confront them about it. a good thing that shows when saying sorry is that you respect others and that you also grew up with manners towards others. The major drawbacks is that one it affects your self-esteem, two you won't stand up for your self, and the last one is that people can be taking advantage of you and you won't even know it! You'll be to scared or nervous that you let it happen but when you finally step up for your self and stop saying "sorry" thats when they will most likely step down and respect you for it. Stop saying sorry and just man up.
My Bad speech habits is when I'm presenting and i tend to stutter or i look around and stay quiet. I never really broke these habits. These habits tend to come back and fade away. The Habit that i had broke the most was staying quiet. In group project it try to speak more with out anybody telling me not to. My other habits i had broken out off, which I'm proud for.
The only way to say sorry is if you had done something wrong to a person and it had affected them badly. with a simple numb in the hall or you accidentally done something worn you don't need to say sorry for that thing. I think that this specific speech habit has to do something with our manners and respect. It can clarify if certain people or nice and collective or if they are rude and arrogant. it really all depends on the person her/himself.
Jocelyn Garcia
Period 5 Honors English

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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 4:04 PM
Gabriela Marin
English P.4
Ms. Wright
I have been in the same position as Ms. Lee because their have been times where I have been saying sorry to people even though it was the other persons fault. I have been in the place were I feel like I have to say sorry to the other person because I feel like it's my fault of what happen. I also say sorry a lot because I want to avoid conflict with the person and not get into any problems with them. There are a lot of people who are really shy and tend to stay out of trouble by just saying sorry because they are afraid if conflict; and, I guess I'm one of them because I tend to say sorry a lot because I feel like I'm intruding something or getting in a problem with someone.
I feel like some people get in the habit of saying sorry because the person feels that everything they do is causing a problem to the other person. The person gets in the habit also because they have basically done it so many times that it's something that just comes out normally without the person is knowing what they are doing or saying. People getting the habit of saying sorry so many times can also result to the person not having self confidence and seeing what have they done is nothing wrong. I can relate to this because sometimes I feel like it wasn't my fault, but I had to say sorry because somehow I knew had done something wrong.
Draw backs to this habits is the other person knowing that yes they did something to you, but at least they realized it and apologized. There aren't many of which saying sorry so many times is good, but there are at least some. For example, one could be where the two people don't get into any bigger picture because one of them said sorry already. Another one would be where the person knows that you didn't do it on purpose it was something just done unconciously.
My own bad speech habits is always saying sorry to people in the hallways because I get bumped into them. I have tried not saying sorry to them because it's not my fault that I was bumped into them. I have promised myself that, but there are times where I break that promise and than get mad because people will start taking advantage of me. If I keep on doing that people will see me as a weak girl who can't stand up for herself.
I know when apology is true because of the person says it and in they way that they react. Meaning an apology is heard because you can feel that they are truly sorry for what they had done.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 4:04 PM
Carolina Barraza P5
I have actually been in this situation that Ms. Lee presents to us. The other day I was walking down the hall and one of the teachers bumped into me. I said sorry right away because I felt responsible. But I have also been in a situation where the person I’m talking constantly says sorry. At that point it starts to get very annoying because the person didn’t even do anything and they’re saying sorry. I have caught myself doing this sometimes, and I tried to refrain myself from doing it again. Sometimes I don’t even notice when I’m saying it and it slips out.
I don’t think that people really notice that they are saying this because it has become part of their daily vocabulary. I believe that most people fall into this because they feel they have to say sorry for something they accidently did. But it also has to do with the way the person was brought. If the parents taught them to always say sorry for something they did, the person will get into the habit of saying this because their parents taught them to do this action. The last reason for always saying sorry is because the person is insecure. If they are insecure they are not strong enough to stand up for themselves and say what they think.
The drawbacks of always saying sorry is that people won’t be able to tell the difference from a real apology and a daily apology. Some other drawbacks would be that everyone will think you aren’t sure about yourself. I’m not very sure there is a positive side to this other than people might think that you are nice and might want to hang around with you. My last drawback would be people taking advantage of those with this habit. They know you won’t be able to say no because they know you’re insecure and very shy.
One habit that I used to have that I broke was always saying the word “like”. Every time that I was explaining something I said the word like. I broke this habit by trying to use other words when talking. Or I would try to avoid conversations in front of groups so they wouldn’t here my bad speaking habits. Last year my eighth grade teacher had an entire lesson planed for bad speech habits. How he made us break these habits was to have a group of students say a couple presentations every quarter. He had someone count all the “ummms, likes, or I don’t knows” counted by one student. This way we would see our progress and we eventually stopped using those words.
It says and shows that we are very shy and insecure about what we are doing. It shows this because you are using these filler words to make up for the awkwardness of the situation you are in. There are many people who use these words and aren’t aware of when they say them. They show that you have bad habits or that you don’t know what you are doing. It’s better to just not use these words at all.
You know that an apology is truly in order when you have done something bad. For example when you bump into someone or say something wrong you shouldn’t say sorry if it wasn’t your fault. I mean imagine that for everything you said ended or started with the word sorry. It would defeat the meaning of the word itself. So please don’t use the word “sorry” unless it’s an extreme situation.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 4:40 PM
Oni Williams
P5

I hardly ever apologize and when I do I definitely don't over do it. I only apologize when a genuine apology is due, and no this doesn't count when its a bump of the shoulder in a crowded hallway or sidewalk. It makes no sense when people continuously apologize for no reason, I mean what if you become accustom to this apologetic behavior? People are going to see you as a coward, or someone who can't stand there on their own. Which is completely not the case for some people.
When apologizing you should always have a sense of pride, and know why you're apologizing and if its appropriate. Never become a coward when apologizing, because this gives the person you're apologizing to the feeling that you do it a lot, and have no self worth, because you are so worried about pleasing them and others. And in some cases this is the reason people apologize so often, but in others the person is just trying to be polite. In most cases people who don't ever apologize are just trying to allow themselves to start a habit of doing so, because it is seen as being polite. I honestly don't think that excessive apologizing is good, because it becomes annoying, makes people see you in different ways, and doesn't really have any significant meaning.
Some people, like myself, don't really take the apology serious. I'm more likely to accept a one time, sensor apology from someone, than many small non-sensor apologies. The meaning and reasoning behind the apology is much greater than the other. I see it as being a waste of my time if the apology isn't seen as being “real”. That would be like waiting in line for a pair of shoes all night, and in the morning when you finally get in the store, there are only fake imitations of that shoe inside. Makes you very upset because the thing that you were waiting on for so long, wasn't even authentic.
Its always an inconvenience and irritation, for people to do something and not receive the appreciation or recognition due. Its a huge slap in the face, especially for someone like me, who hardly ever apologizes,because it makes you realize why you never apologize in the first place. I’d be pretty upset if someone were to totally ignore my apology, and not even realize that it took me a lot of effort to apologize. That upsets me and is one of the main reasons others and myself try not to apologize very often. If our efforts to be a bigger and mature person, aren't being acknowledged, well then what's the point of apologizing.
These are just a few of the reasons that people see over apologizing a very negative thing to do. I myself don't like when others over apologizing, or expect me to over apologize;because the way someone else sees a problem varies. Someone can see a situation as being a huge need for an apology, while others don't see an apology needed at all. I think that the decision of giving an apology is really based on the individual and the case. However, I don't think that over apologizing is ever needed, in any situation.
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AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 6:44 PM
I have experienced Ms. Lee’s experience multiple times in my life. I apologize for many things even if they aren’t my fault, I simply do so because I feel I owe them something even when most of the time I don’t. I can recall numerous times where “I would often start and end my conversations with the word “sorry” “ according to the author Audrey S. Lee. This quote rings quite true to me because as if they did not completely take it in before, I keep reiterating it, to ensure that they got the point of my “sorrow”.

I believe this habit stems all the way back to early childhood life where we were expected to be respectful even if it is illogical.As a child I was expected to apologize to adults regardless of the case, wheter it was thier fault or not,I was expected to be submissive. I’ve noticed that even people who are generally considered to be naughty and disobedient to adults are still readily able to say “sorry”.I would consider another reason is the ability to avoid confrontation , even if it’s not your fault in particular, avoiding confrontation is always considered a positive.

There are numerous drawbacks to this habit. the most obvious of these is the fact that people will begin to lose respect for you, They would consider you someone not worth respecting, this is a problem, all people deserve respect and it is well known about that. However, some, when given the opportunity to exploit someone, they would jump at the opportunity. There are some benefits however, most obvious of which being that people would dismiss the problem more than if not apologizing.

Although I have a wide variety of bad speech habits, by far, my worse is my use of sentences fillers like “um” or “eh” . I use these words because I want to have a consistent sentence however, I am thinking of things while speaking, this causes me to use those random words in the middle of a sentence. I have lately been trying to break taking short breaks while speaking to compile my thinking. This was done by practicing while speaking in more casual conversations where saying such words would not cause any evident repercussions. After doing it in the more casual conversations, doing it in a serious setting, where I’m already more proper than usual is far easier.

I believe that an apology is an order when someone directly faults you on purpose. Talking to a friend is no reason to apologize, as you should not be sorry for bothering someone with your friendship. However, when you purposely do something to negatively affect others, then I would undoubtedly support one giving a heartfelt apology, I feel that would be the most respectful thing to do.

- Dawson McThay, PD. 4
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AnonymousFebruary 17, 2014 at 9:06 PM
Written by: Julio Acosta A4/B4

I honestly do think I apologize too much. For many reasons I just cannot seem to be fine without saying sorry to someone if I did something intentionally or unintentionally. Even if I was the one who should be asking for an apology I’d be saying sorry. I don’t know why and maybe it could just be a habit, but all I know is that it honestly could be a bad thing for many reasons and it could also have its perks. I find it common, however, that many people other than myself do this as well. I don’t feel as different knowing that and so to me I find it ok in a way to apologize to much.
For one, it definitely does have it’s perks. People can often find you as a good person for being so polite and will often be more open to you I guess. It gives you a better first impression for people. People will know from what you say sorry for that you're honest. If you apologize to everything people will always trust you ,which to me is an important thing. You’ll appear more responsible for taking the blame for things you’ve done. This last one has always been something I think to be true but I think more people will go easy on you.
Of course this has it’s drawbacks ,however. People can and mostly take you for granted and often just over do things very often just to get what they want from you. They could say well since I did this the wrong way I can just blame it on him/her and get away with it. Often times the most common thing to happen would be that someone just doesn’t trust or believe you anymore. They lose your trust since that’s always your excuse or something you say when you do something wrong. It doesn’t seem believable after a while.
How ever many times you apologize, the reason most people do it is because of a habit they made out of it. Some are just always saying it and other think well it works every time I say it so I’ll just continue to say it. It could also just be because you were raised to be polite and so for something you’ve done to cause discomfort to a person you say sorry. That ,at least, is my reason for saying it so much. If I feel like I’ve done something to someone I say sorry, which is a bad thing because I always think something is my fault. I’ve been told by my family since I was little that you no matter what have to apologize for something simple like bumping into someone even if it wasn’t your fault to be polite and nice and so to me it’s just plain habit I guess.
Being sorry too often can be a bad thing that many people can take advantage of. It’s really just a habit ,most people have and it almost always gets annoying to some people. However, don’t forget the benefits you get from it either, and if you feel like it’s something bad then either stop it or just admit you're always going to do it because ,honestly, it’s normal. I just do it because of habit and I think it’s the right thing to do but I most definitely know the difference when someone appreciates it or is using it.
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AnonymousFebruary 20, 2014 at 10:52 AM
Isabella Velazquez
Ms. Wright P:5

I couldn't agree with you more when you say that when you feel responsible for your actions then you would say sorry but if you are not then why would you have to apologize. I tend to do this many times I think that I over apologize but it seemed to have changed when I started high school. I mainly think this was because i did not know as many people here then I did at my old school. Now I do apologize when I need to but not when it is not my fault. Before I would do it for any little thing which can and does get pretty annoying. Then I started to evaluate myself and I realized I did not need to apologize for every little thing I did.
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AnonymousFebruary 20, 2014 at 2:49 PM
Written by: Beverly Avila
Everyone makes mistakes. No matter from the smallest bump on the shoulder, to having committing a serious crime, everyone makes mistakes. You would have to turn around to someone and say, “Hey, I’m sorry for bumping into you”. It would be hurtful for the other person, but at least you gave your sincere apology and remembered to not do the same mistake again. But, is there a limit to the point you just have to say sorry for everything you do? Is it even considered a mistake for apologizing too much?
I believe that people fall into the habit of saying sorry too much because they are probably thinking that they are always making mistakes. Well, maybe that isn’t always the case though. I know many people that fall into this habit and they are mostly the people that are just very shy. It probably just depends on how the person acts, feels, and their personality. It’s just really depends on the person because maybe you’re an outgoing person, and you would say sorry for some mistake you’ve done, but not saying sorry for EVERYTHING you do. It also depends on a person’s environment as well because someone can be in a horrible environment and can never say sorry.
Some drawbacks that can lead to having to say sorry so many times is shyness. I mean, people who tend to be little shy always say sorry. On the other hand, people who are outgoing don’t always say sorry for everything they do based on their actions. Another bad side to saying sorry too much is that you may just be apologizing for things you shouldn’t really apologizing for. Then you might as well sound crazy and be too generous. It’s not bad to be generous, but at the same time, there’s a limit.
On the other hand, there are also some good to apologizing so much. People can think you’re very polite and you’re very flexible with others because you wouldn’t blame others for their mistakes, and you would just accept it because everyone makes mistakes. It really is a key to succeed to life to be apologizing yourself and others for flaws and mistakes you and others have done. It’s okay to be making mistakes, and others and yourself learn from what you can do to change. To begin to change, you should apologize to yourself and others before you take a step forward.
Overall, saying sorry so many times does not have a limit, but does have its pros and cons. People tend to say sorry so much, that it's part of their everyday lives to say it at least ten times a day. I just dislike the fact that it is always the shy people that always tend to be shy and say sorry. It isn’t bad to so sorry, but people should be able to speak up and stand up for themselves for once.
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AnonymousFebruary 21, 2014 at 8:30 AM
As odd as it is, I have never been in the same situation as Ms.Lee. I have seen it happen on T.V though. I noticed that it’s often the insecure or shy people that apologize a lot. Well at least on the show I was watching. The girl was a worker at a supermarket and she always let her boss push her around and blame her for things that wasn’t her fault, instead of speaking up she just apologized for something she hadn’t done. It wasn’t fair at all. But then again it was just a show, this happens a lot in real life though.
I think some people fall into the habit of constantly saying sorry because they want to just avoid any conflicts or arguments. They probably think “might as well apologize ahead of time”. But really I think it’s just based on insecurities. These people probably think of themselves as a bother to others so they apologize when asking a question or walking into an office, like Ms. Lee did. Other times they just may feel that everything is their fault, when in reality nothing wrong was even done.
This habit of constantly saying sorry can give people the impression that you’re a pushover. They can get away with anything because in the end, you’ll take the blame for it. Or people may think that you aren’t a confident person. Especially in the workplace, like Ms.Lee people won’t take you serious if you don’t stand up for yourself and speak with confidence. In some cases it’s perfectly fine to apologize, but only when it’s the appropriate time.
I have the habit of saying “like” in the middle of my sentences. “ I got demerits and like that’s not even fair.” Things like that. When it’s not even the appropriate time to use the word. Nobody has told me anything about it, but it’s still a habit I want to break out of because it’s not proper vocabulary and in the working field and even in school, people won’t take me seriously if I can’t even speak professionally.
You know an apology is real when you can truly hear it in the person's voice or see it in their eyes. They need to fully understand what they did wrong and understand that they made a mistake. If they don’t think what they did was wrong then they don’t mean their apology. Of course if the words “i’m sorry” are over used then eventually they will lose their meaning. You need to be aware of what you say and when you say it.
Dhalia Maldonado
Period 5 Honors English
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